Children and Growing Up
For a couple of reasons, I’ve spent a little while wondering whether it’s worth discussing my childhood and what it was like for me to grow up being transgender.
Firstly, I grew up a long time ago – born in 1969 I spent my childhood in the 70’s and 80’s and the world is now a very different place in views, technology and the ways people can interconnect. So much so that I think it extremely unlikely that my experiences would be repeated today. That makes me think that, aside from a possibly mildly interesting historical viewpoint, what happened back then is mostly irrelevant.
The second reason is obviously that I have never shown any inclination to fully grow up; something that causes my wife and children to continuously sigh and roll their eyes.
Let’s look at the hard scientific facts about being a child and transgender:-
In recent surveys 1 in 20 children, 5%, felt that they did not conform to a traditional male or female gender. While that figure may or may not come as a surprise, the fact remains that how we help and support those children during their childhood is vitally important.
The suicide rate among children that are not supported by families and schools, and allowed to express themselves freely in their preferred gender, is around 50%.
Suicidal ideation (seriously considering and planning suicide) is around 90%. That is an astronomically high and shocking figure.
Those children that are actively supported as transgender, allowed to be transgender and express themselves as themselves have a suicide rate of around 4% - still much higher than the norm but over a tenfold reduction.
It’s obvious – essential – therefore that transgender children should be allowed to be themselves and be supported in doing so. That sounds easy but it requires parents, schools, friends and relatives to have enough education and understanding to be able to provide that support.
Given the level of LGBT knowledge I have seen in our schools’ networks, and the anecdotal evidence in the media, we’re a long way from being able to provide this support framework as a society.
However, there is another more difficult challenge with transgender in childhood. The standard treatment for trans children is to delay puberty by prescribing hormone blockers until they are old enough to “make their mind up” on the course of action and treatment that they would like to take.
The main downside of this is that we know that a significant number of transgender children when they go through puberty reach an adult stage that is not transgender because of the natural hormonal developmental effects of it on the brain. Hormone blocking treatment obviously prevents this.
However, for the approximately 40% that will remain transgender throughout their lives regardless of puberty, the effects of not delaying puberty with hormone blocking treatment are catastrophic - their bodies will develop further from their gender and that will cause serious gender dysphoria and that will be far more difficult to treat - the effects of puberty are irreversible.
There is no clear and right solution for this – delaying puberty definitely has advantages for both sets of children as it allows them to have more life experience to be able to decide how they feel. Their eventual path however must be a careful, sensitive and well thought-through decision with their health providers, families and themselves.
One final interesting point is that some children who do not identify as transgender before puberty do so afterwards because of the hormonal development of the brain. This means the overall figures of transgender children remain more or less the same before and after puberty.
So what was it like for me growing up as a transgender child? Well, putting aside as much of “wow, you’re really old” memories aside - like no central heating, ice on the inside of your bedroom window, 3 day working weeks, power blackouts and glam rock (swiftly followed by punk and heavy metal I hasten to add to try and save at least some street cred) – it was lonely and isolating.
There was no information about it, nowhere to get any and absolutely no support. Homosexuality had just been decriminalised but homophobia, let alone transphobia, was everyday, expected and accepted – even to the point of programmes regularly ridiculing gay people on TV.
It didn’t take me very long, at a very young age, to cotton on to the fact that the last thing I should do was mention how I felt, and was, to anyone. I spent almost all my time on my own in the park near to where I lived - I didn’t let myself get close enough to anyone to be friends with them.
I had a favourite tree with a hollowed out space about 15 foot high in the branches that I spent most of my time in – listening to my Sansui Walkman clone (I couldn’t afford a Sony) and thinking. It’s probably why I’m so self reflective now, and socially inept.
It wasn’t until my mid teens that I stumbled across the music room, bass guitar and Dungeons & Dragons – all populated by pale pasty long haired nerds (my son’s description of me as a teenager!) and people that didn’t really fit in with the usual school crowd.
They also happened to be the most wonderful accepting people you could wish for and became my first real friends – I still see all of them regularly now.
It probably took me until I was about 30 to start getting enough information from the fledgling internet to begin understanding what transgender was, and more importantly accepting myself.
That’s why my childhood experiences are not particularly useful when it comes to talking about growing up as transgender today.
While there was no information and support in the 70’s and 80s, we now have the internet and more information, support and genuine help than anyone could ask for – and even more ways to connect to other transgender people.
The internet obviously brings its own challenges of cyber bullying but I think overall it’s an amazingly positive tool when used correctly. It even lets you look up old glam rock videos if that’s your guilty pleasure.
I’d recommend that anyone needing further info on Transgender children contact Mermaids which is a truly brilliant charity for Trans children and their parents/family.
http://www.mermaidsuk.org.uk/
Helpline
0808 8010400
(Free and will not show up on your bill)
Bobbi Dec 2018
Firstly, I grew up a long time ago – born in 1969 I spent my childhood in the 70’s and 80’s and the world is now a very different place in views, technology and the ways people can interconnect. So much so that I think it extremely unlikely that my experiences would be repeated today. That makes me think that, aside from a possibly mildly interesting historical viewpoint, what happened back then is mostly irrelevant.
The second reason is obviously that I have never shown any inclination to fully grow up; something that causes my wife and children to continuously sigh and roll their eyes.
Let’s look at the hard scientific facts about being a child and transgender:-
In recent surveys 1 in 20 children, 5%, felt that they did not conform to a traditional male or female gender. While that figure may or may not come as a surprise, the fact remains that how we help and support those children during their childhood is vitally important.
The suicide rate among children that are not supported by families and schools, and allowed to express themselves freely in their preferred gender, is around 50%.
Suicidal ideation (seriously considering and planning suicide) is around 90%. That is an astronomically high and shocking figure.
Those children that are actively supported as transgender, allowed to be transgender and express themselves as themselves have a suicide rate of around 4% - still much higher than the norm but over a tenfold reduction.
It’s obvious – essential – therefore that transgender children should be allowed to be themselves and be supported in doing so. That sounds easy but it requires parents, schools, friends and relatives to have enough education and understanding to be able to provide that support.
Given the level of LGBT knowledge I have seen in our schools’ networks, and the anecdotal evidence in the media, we’re a long way from being able to provide this support framework as a society.
However, there is another more difficult challenge with transgender in childhood. The standard treatment for trans children is to delay puberty by prescribing hormone blockers until they are old enough to “make their mind up” on the course of action and treatment that they would like to take.
The main downside of this is that we know that a significant number of transgender children when they go through puberty reach an adult stage that is not transgender because of the natural hormonal developmental effects of it on the brain. Hormone blocking treatment obviously prevents this.
However, for the approximately 40% that will remain transgender throughout their lives regardless of puberty, the effects of not delaying puberty with hormone blocking treatment are catastrophic - their bodies will develop further from their gender and that will cause serious gender dysphoria and that will be far more difficult to treat - the effects of puberty are irreversible.
There is no clear and right solution for this – delaying puberty definitely has advantages for both sets of children as it allows them to have more life experience to be able to decide how they feel. Their eventual path however must be a careful, sensitive and well thought-through decision with their health providers, families and themselves.
One final interesting point is that some children who do not identify as transgender before puberty do so afterwards because of the hormonal development of the brain. This means the overall figures of transgender children remain more or less the same before and after puberty.
So what was it like for me growing up as a transgender child? Well, putting aside as much of “wow, you’re really old” memories aside - like no central heating, ice on the inside of your bedroom window, 3 day working weeks, power blackouts and glam rock (swiftly followed by punk and heavy metal I hasten to add to try and save at least some street cred) – it was lonely and isolating.
There was no information about it, nowhere to get any and absolutely no support. Homosexuality had just been decriminalised but homophobia, let alone transphobia, was everyday, expected and accepted – even to the point of programmes regularly ridiculing gay people on TV.
It didn’t take me very long, at a very young age, to cotton on to the fact that the last thing I should do was mention how I felt, and was, to anyone. I spent almost all my time on my own in the park near to where I lived - I didn’t let myself get close enough to anyone to be friends with them.
I had a favourite tree with a hollowed out space about 15 foot high in the branches that I spent most of my time in – listening to my Sansui Walkman clone (I couldn’t afford a Sony) and thinking. It’s probably why I’m so self reflective now, and socially inept.
It wasn’t until my mid teens that I stumbled across the music room, bass guitar and Dungeons & Dragons – all populated by pale pasty long haired nerds (my son’s description of me as a teenager!) and people that didn’t really fit in with the usual school crowd.
They also happened to be the most wonderful accepting people you could wish for and became my first real friends – I still see all of them regularly now.
It probably took me until I was about 30 to start getting enough information from the fledgling internet to begin understanding what transgender was, and more importantly accepting myself.
That’s why my childhood experiences are not particularly useful when it comes to talking about growing up as transgender today.
While there was no information and support in the 70’s and 80s, we now have the internet and more information, support and genuine help than anyone could ask for – and even more ways to connect to other transgender people.
The internet obviously brings its own challenges of cyber bullying but I think overall it’s an amazingly positive tool when used correctly. It even lets you look up old glam rock videos if that’s your guilty pleasure.
I’d recommend that anyone needing further info on Transgender children contact Mermaids which is a truly brilliant charity for Trans children and their parents/family.
http://www.mermaidsuk.org.uk/
Helpline
0808 8010400
(Free and will not show up on your bill)
Bobbi Dec 2018